Now that you’re an adult, do you ever stop to think about how you came to believe some of the things you believe? And why you view things a certain way? Well, it all goes back to our childhoods and our upbringing. Our earliest influences were our parents and then our peers then the media and so on. A lot of the stuff we believe in was decided for us without our own knowledge/permission/input. This goes for religion, politics, racial stereotypes, definitions of happiness and in so many other areas. Our parents wanted the best for us and they tried to steer us in the right direction, but most of the time, that direction was based on how they were raised and it can be a rigid structure without any room for questioning it (especially in ethnic households). We believed everything we were told and then our peers reinforced it and we grew up in a way that didn’t allow us to explore ourselves on a deeper level and evolve because we took everything as the status quo.

We got older and didn’t realize that not everything we were taught was beneficial to us and that is why a lot of us have issues dealing with emotions, communication and being vulnerable. That’s why we have so many books that try to help the reader become aware of these deep rooted issues in the hopes of trying to understand them and remedy them. We went on for so long thinking a certain way that we didn’t properly develop the capability to explore within or to accept other ideas.

That is huge topic with many layers and nuances that one blog post isn’t going to even scratch the surface on, but it does serve as a set up to something a bit more brief. And that is our definitions of happiness. We were lead to believe that happiness meant the acquisition of certain things/status (especially in the US). We had to check certain boxes in order to be seen as successful in the eyes of society. And when we fell short of these expectations, it caused a shit ton of damage. The media and everyone around us decided what happiness was and if we didn’t adhere to that definition, we were complete failures. That doesn’t have to be the case.

You and you alone should be able to decide what happiness is for you. Maybe its a steady job and lots of free time. Maybe its a big family with the picket fence. Or maybe its being a nomad and going around the world. Who knows what it looks like for you, but ultimately the choice is yours. Don’t let anyone (past or present) tell you what happiness is based on their standards and beliefs. And don’t worry if your definition changes from one year to the next, that’s the whole point of life, it’s ever evolving and changing, at least in my eyes. Best of luck on your pursuit of happiness.